Did He Return?

We just found this email in our inbox from back before Easter, from Zach. The writing that he sent is a brief but gripping glimpse into the events surrounding Easter. We're really disappointed that we couldn't post this around Easter, but maybe that's a good thing--maybe this will help us see Christ in a new light.

  "Did he return?"

  His friend's voice was the only interruption to the monotonous sound of two pairs of feet on the dirt road, now dry and dusty. 

  "Simon, you mean?"

  "Simon, yes. Or John."

  "Yes," he answered, "John came back. He found nothing."

  "Nothing?"

  In his depression, his friend's prodding was irritating. More irritating than it should have been, he knew. He sighed.

  "Only the head cloth."

  "No angels."

  He allowed his friend's half-question to remain unanswered. It hung in the air, sounding more like a statement.

They walked on, the Judean wind, hot and dusty, pulling at their clothes and turbans. How long they walked in silence, he didn't know. They were alone in their thoughts, and alone on the road, aside from a lone traveler far behind them. The exodus from Jerusalem after Passover had not yet begun.

  Darkness gripped the man's soul. The despair in his thoughts tortured him and made the road seem to stretch into eternity.

  "What will you do now?"

  A lump formed in his throat. Nothing. There was nothing left to do.

  "Nothing. Nothing new. I guess I will..."

  "Go back."

  "Yes."

  That was all there was now. His old life. His gut wrenched at the thought of it. Before, when he was with the Rabbi, he had told himself his life would never be the same. The mundane-ness and depression of his old life was gone.

  He had loved the adventure of it all, following the Teacher at a moment's notice up mountains and across the country, into cities and deserts. 

  But he knew now that that was not what had made him happy. That was not what had changed his life. 

  The lump grew, and it hurt.

  His friend broke into his thoughts. "I thought he was the Anointed, Cleophas."

  Please stop, he thought. He only wanted to forget, but his friend didn't hear his thoughts.

  "I thought that today we would be watching him sit on the throne, not...."

  His friend didn't need to finish. The ache in his chest swelled and tears blurred the horizon in front of him as the vision of their dead leader flashed into his mind. 

  He didn't want to remember, because now he knew. Only now, when he had lost it all, did he realize how much had been lost. The traveling and the preaching had not changed him. It had been fulfilling and exciting at first, but the excitement had eventually worn off. 

  He saw now what had changed in his own soul, and he could only see it now because now it was gone. He had found a reason to live. He had, for three years, known what it meant to love God. The Rabbi taught them that. Now he could never get that back.

  He spoke haltingly, trying not to weep with the emptiness he felt inside. Tears streamed down his face nevertheless.

  "Me, too. I already miss him. Did you feel what I felt when he spoke?"

  "I don't know what you mean," answered his friend.

  "When I was with him, I felt different, Yosef. I felt clean. I felt holy. When I was with him, when I heard him pray, I wanted to know Adonai. Like I never had before."

  "Yeshua knew Adonai. He was...he was holy."

  "He was."

  He was. And now he was no more. And I do not feel holy anymore, he thought. I do not desire to know Adonai anymore, not like I did. 

  "He didn't deserve that, Yosef." He said it softly. "He didn't deserve it. How could Adonai let it end like this?" 

  Shame and despair gripped his heart again.

  How could God let him be stripped naked like that? Beaten with such brutality? Crucified! Where were you, Adonai?

  He looked over at his friend, now sobbing softly. As if reading his own thoughts, Yosef asked him, his voice cracking, "Where is Adonai now, my brother?

  They both wept quietly. The monotonous sound of footfalls was louder now, for the pilgrim behind them was a faster walker, and he was now overtaking them.

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From Zach: Obviously, the most beautiful parts of this story are not here yet, but on this Easter Sunday, it's easy for me to imagine what these men might have felt as they went home defeated and despairing on that Sunday close to 2,000 years ago. There might be more to come from me, but the rest (and the best) of the story is in Luke 24. 

God bless you!

Friends.....

So I've been thinking about what to blog about...and I decided to write about some of my friends that have impacted my life. I definitely won't be able to cover all of them...but I'm gonna at least share some.

 

The Barkman girl cousins....women that I've grown up, that have helped shape who I am today. I love how we can have so much fun together, and laugh ourselves sick...but we can also talk about the deep things of life...and we can all share the love for our Jesus Christ.

 

My seesters:) I don't know what  I'd do without them. They listen to me, understand, and counsel me:)I love how as you grow up, the years don't really matter anymore. Right now I super miss being able to stop in at Krystal's house for a latte, and to just talk, and to see her adorable little boys. Thankfully, Kenni is still here, and only two or three minutes down the road. I love to randomly pop in:) God has blessed me with these sisters...and I'm so thankful for the example they are , and for the way we can be more than just family, but good friends too:)

My twin Veronica( in the middle) and Leanne:) Veronica and I don't have the same mom ,but we do share the same birthday and are exactly the same age. She is one of the strongest women I know, and has encouraged me so much. She is incredibly giving, and I have more than once been the recipitent of that generous heart. Leanne and I went to bibleschool two years together and hit it off and we still do. One of those wonderful ladies that sticks by you, and I know that when we are together we will definitely have a good time. One of the awesome things about Leanne is that you think she's quiet till you get to know her:)Then her crazy side comes out:)

Add Andrea and Kara. More bible school friends:) We've kept up since bibleschool and still love to hang out, though we have from Ohio to Pennsylvania to cross.

We won't say how late this was...the wacky picture might give a wee bit of an indication:)

Miller cousins...we all live in the same area...so we know each other well :)and its so much fun. :)

they rock:)

Former co-workers. We used to work at Joad Speciality together....Most of us have left but we still get together because we can't bare to stay apart:)Heidi and Hannah are sadly missing on this picture( perhaps its because they're married) :(:)

Brittany and my Phyliss Ann:)aka Heidi:)Two of the sweetest women ever. Britt is another bibleschool chum...she was my dorm mommy:) She has one of the biggest hearts ever. And Heidi. We used to work together, and we used to live a half mile apart, and we used to go to the same church. So practically, we did almost everything together except live in the same house. There is definitely a huge, gaping hole since she moved to South Carolina with her husband, Noley. Oh Phyliss, come back to me:)

Cherie Clarae. My co-author. Okay, well our book isn't published yet, but hopefully someday. Right now she is living in Thailand, and believe it or not, I'm flying over Tuesday to see her!!After a long time of waiting and saving up...yeah, its actually happening:)

Youth girls. Its not quite everybody. Its awesome being in the same youth group. Recently, we did a weekend at a cabin with sessions on prayer....It was really good!

 

So to all my friends, and even if your not pictured on here...Thank-you for everything you've added to my life. God has blessed me so much!!!!!Wishing all of you a beautiful day! May you feel God's presence close to your heart!